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Tuesday, 02 December 2008
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i think......
♣nothing left in my right brain,nothing right in my left brain.♣
i think yes,
i think end is close to me
because this straight line
with no colors
no love
no life
will kill me
or i'll kill her?
someone has to go
Monday, 01 December 2008
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lack of everything
No,idiot,I don't want to love you.
Or him.
Or anyone.
Why is it so damn weird that a girl would like a fuck-buddy and not some bunch of false craps?
And it's "normal" when a guy wants the same thing?
What kind of fucking discrimination is that?
And then people ask why the fuck those feminist bitches talk so much?
They are right.
So....
Stop the talking and start the real job.
Otherwise you can go.
-School's killing me.Wtf is with that people?Frustrations?Evil?
Dunno.Just know i really need to get a joint and relax.
-Can't wait for fucking Saturday.
I dont know why but I'll dress up a bit bitchy,which I didn't do a long time ago.
Mens are visual beings->X is a man = X is a visual being » i want to do all that porn things with him.
I'm sick of all the kissing.
I'm sick of all the hugging.
And maybe it's just my PMS but I am sexually frustrated.
Very.
-This winter will be damn good,I feel it.
If i survive.
Because those mean drug plans and stuff will def. kill little parts of leftovers of my brain/body/everything else.
....Whatever.
-If i don't get any kinds of drugs tomorrow I'll start to bite people.
And stuff.
Ok it's metaphorically but I'm getting really nervous.
I need to chill.
-Y. made my day.
~there's no future for me....(:
Sunday, 30 November 2008
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X,Y and Z
I have met X on a party in a city nearby.
He looked so like my ex-the jerk.
And when we started talking,online and live,i understood his character is similar to jerk's character too.
Ice-cold.
But X is more intelligent,nicer,taller(xaxa),has a job,kisses better,and so many other things in which he's better then my stupid ex.
They're just both so childish.
When i'm with X,we mostly just laugh.
I forget about all of my problems when we talk about totally brutally stupid and funny stuff.
I like to take drugs with him too,we have the same scheme while wasted.
Remember the first time we kissed.He hugged me so insecurely,and i kissed his neck.And yes,we kissed.It was all a bit insecure,really,but nice,it caused that good old butterflies in my stomach.
Second time was better.The only thought i had is that -this is what i've been waiting for-...
Later we were laying together and we just couldn't take our hands off eachother.
Probably that was something that caused vomiting in our friends which were with us then but we didn't care.Really.
I'm going out with him on Saturday.
Who knows what the hell will happen.
I first saw Y on a party in a club in my city.
I knew him from school and stuff but that's when he attracted my attention.
He looks like the biggest pothead ever-long hair,a bit of extra weight(it looks amazingly good on him),and I swear that his face looks just like Kiedis's.Serious.
He is nice,we talk alot now,he is a friend of friend but he knows that i like him a bit,and I know he likes me a bit.
I should really do something about it.
This week maybe,yeah.
And finally,something completely different.
Z.
He and I met long time ago but past month we started going out to some fancy clubs and stuff.
He's not good looking,but he's charming,nice and umm yeah rich(this sounds so slutty).
I think he thinks he can buy me which is half true because every time we go out I return home drunk,high and I have a great time with nothing in my pocket.
Last time we almost fucked(alcohol IS evil) and well,who knows what the next time will bring.
Friday maybe....
Little lights that turn on and off.
On
Off
On?
Saturday, 29 November 2008
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My red fucked up eyes have just entered the zion train
It's Saturday,day in which I am programmed to get my mask on my face,mask of false happiness and joy,which will cover all the craps I had in my life lately.
That mask irritates me alot.
So I decided to light up a joint ant think rationally.
Wait.
I became too stupid to think rationally.
I gotta chill out with the drugs,otherwise I'll become vegetative.
I gotta stop listening to this crappy melancholic songs (example->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rSMfqyA-Ds)
which remind me of my stupid ex.The jerk sent me a stupid,sad message,to be more specific,a coffee invitation,because ~he's bored,he wanted to hear from me etc.
What
the
fuck.
I've been so sad people thought I am a fucking emo for three damn months,I've listened to our songs every night like the biggest sad slut ever,I've thought of him so many times and wanted to return into the past TO GET A DAMN MESSAGE ABOUT SOME GOD DAMN COFFEE WITH HIM?!!!?
Fuck that,him,me,we can fuck together too yeah,finally that is the only thing he knew to do in his miserable life.
I gotta stop being so aloof to the world around me (the jerk doesn't count,sadly he's the only one who can make me a bit alive),gotta get in the action,get some stupid good looking idiot who will annoy me like all of girls do.
Even every girl in love is (for me) a stupid blinded cow who doesn't see her dearest looking under every skirt/acting like a fool with her/uses her only because he's a no-lifer.
Because an average human being just cannot participate in such utopia like relationship is.
What is a relationship anyway?
It's a word.
Hard to spell.
It's bullshit,it doesn't even exist.
Relationship is fucking someone in his brain or in worse case,being hardcore fucked in yours,nothing else.
I don't really need anyone,and I believe that no one needs me,atleast no one normal.
I am not ugly,nor so stupid(even i am becoming a retard because all of substances I put in my organism),I am just sooooo damn unmotivated.
Maybe because in the past i had a weird trip that my life motive is one person.
The jerk.
I gotta stop tripping too.
-next week I have 3 exams which won't go well,because of the fact I am incapable to think about anything,at least at the moment
-next Saturday i'm going on a birthday+rave in a city nearby.drugsdrugsdrugs
-i understand why people hate the police,they were annoying tonight,lucky they didnt found all 10 grams of hashish i had in my jacket.
-i'll talk to that weird cute guy from my school who was smoking with us last time.I need some sexual activity i guess,I'm starting to think my grandma has a better one.Damn.
Then I'll fuck him off.After I fuck him on.
-I love my bong.
youareawatermelon
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- Name: youareawatermelon
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 11/29/2008
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i'm on zion train.
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